Unorganized deep thoughts

I felt pretty left out lately, from friends...Family....

my surrounding area.Every where I go I just don't fit in....

as if in this world there is not a place where I can call it my own...

nobody really understand me.

They tend to judge me by their version of me,just felt so helpless because they never think of my feelings.

Maybe you'll think I'm selfish...

maybe I'm selfish...

but I just want people to notice who I really am and not their version of me....

I just want to know that somehow people care about me...

that I'm not an invisible human.

You may say that I'm hungry for attention...

There is so many times that I wish that someone

would ask me how am I feeling today.....

who would see me through all those action and

understand the reason behind those act...

I have always felt out of place....

with my family,my friends

anytime,anywhere.

Seems to me whatever I do or say

always comes out the opposite.

Either I have problem in conveying my message across

or it's that they interpret the meaning wrongly.

My guess is that it's my problem and not the others

cause it's not possible for everybody to interpret my meaning wrongly

right?

Maybe I'm just jealous when I feel that my family

seems to like my sis more than me...

that my sis is a better person than I'm.

Felt that I can't live up to my parents hope.

It' s just so difficult...

difficult not to feel that way.

I just don't fit in...

not with anyone or at anywhere.

What will happen to the world if I was not born into this world?

will everything be the same?

I wonder.

Yeah!I'm thinking too much...

but I need the support

I need the advice

I need the help

I need to feel that I belong somewhere...

that someone will actually think me as one of the important person in their life

but who am I to be consider as one?

Alone in this world it's what I feel....

nobody really care what happen to me...

maybe my family do...

but apart from them I just can't think of anyone else.

I'm just a pedestrian in their life

so are they in mine

but why am I asking the pedestrians to care about me?

Maybe I am always taking

and not always giving.

and there's a quote which says that

we must give more than we take.