There's a crack in my heart...

To be honest everyone, I feel crappy at this very moment.

I have been moody for the past week, which I blame it on my ever fluctuating hormones.

It's not doing me any good as it has stir some doubts on my current relationship and currently contemplating on whether I should end it or give it another go.

It all started on the day where I start reflecting back on the past year and recent events. I came to realize that some things are not right in my life. I spent half of last year travelling between Melbourne and Sydney.

If anyone ever consider having a long distance relationship, I suggest that you think again and again and again.

It sucks! (i guess it's common knowledge, whatever drove me to commit to this in the first place, I'm not even sure. Considering that I'm a non-believer as well.)

why is he not taking up the burden as well? work was the main thing. I was studying back then so I have time on my hand.

But now that i'm starting to work full time, how are we going to do this? Tried to talk to him. but it seems like my effort is futile, he somehow manage to make it as awkward as possible or totally avoid it. what is he trying to tell me? should I read in between the lines?

I need some guidance somewhere if anyone is reading. Tell me is it normal that a guy doesn't talk back when someone says that his girlfriend is ugly? even when the person who made that comment was his cousin or his best mate?

I felt disappointed. why doesn't he defend me? I felt so unimportant to him. it seems like i don't matter at all?I would have thought he was better than that and I would like to give him the benefit of doubt but how ??

I'm so disappointed. so so disappointed.