when the second time comes around.

when you encounter the first,
you would have thought that it is bad enough for you to have gone through it.
Because your friends doesn't seems to encounter this ssort of problem before...
or maybe they have and you didn't know anything about it.

The time was hard to pass during your first encounter,
everything around you seems to collapse and you didn't know what to do.
Then, everything is solved and you think that it is so silly that you make such a fussed about it...
when all you need to do is to talk things out.

After, it is all over you think things back
have a laugh with it but...
remember that next time this kind of thing happens, you will know what to do.
However, deep down you pray that you would not go through it again.

So, life goes on and in fact everything seems to be getting better.
suddenly, BOOM!!
here it goes again...
the thing you dreaded the most.

You will think, you might not be as freak out as you did before...
but with the fact that you have gone through hell once
thinking about it makes you shiver even more...
although part of it is due to the stupid cold weather.

Now, you have gotten the shocking blow...
same as the first time ..
you just sat there asking yourself,
what have I done to deserve this.

however, in addtion to that question
it trigger yourself to prompt out another question
how many times is this gonna happen to me?
why is this always happening to me?

By now, you start shivering again...
then you started to sniffle
then the storm came in
you are now crying like it is the end of the world.

When the second time comes around,
you will still be as lost as the first time...
panicking, blaming, angry, wanting to shout out loud, crying
then you became silent.....

.....
.....
.....
the numbness you feel is overbearing

but this time you manage to be calm
and started to think.
What needs to be done to save yourself from
going through the ordeal you face 2 seasons ago.

you try to talk to someone which have more senses
but you wouldn't want your parents to worry about anything that had just happen
so message your friend...
in the midst of your conversation, the line got disconnected.

Man...
how bad luck can you be in 1 day.
you get this news, then you lose your internet connection
later you found out that you lose your phone connection as well.

Is this the main reason for not letting you to connect with the outside world
you think....

trapped and helpless,
you nearly go and kill this woman you hated so much...
but because you are too rasional even to do that
you just sat there dumbstruck.

After a sleepless night,
you get up in the morning and talk things through.
you solved the problem
and what is the main cause of all this thing

So, you solved it big deal...
tired and dehydrated...
you went to sleep
woke up...

You still feel like the same as you have felt the night before, bad.
fear is in the air.
uncertainty still hang around
insecurity sinking in.

Then you realise,
this is the harsh reality of life.
you will still feel shock no matter how many times you have encounter the prolem.

So do you accept the way of life
and move on , or...
you fight back ?

because of this incident...
it make you feel awful again...
to think you have to do everything to make yourself happy again is so...
tiring.