a long holiday

Been absent for more than a week in this blog...seems like an eternity..
Finally I have reached the end of my semester in uni...
Now I'm on a long holiday...the total length is 1 month...haha you all must be thinking what a lucky I'm
well, to be honest I dread it...too long to be exact..when you have nothing to do...
Just got back from melbourne this wednesday...already missing the pace of the city.
Will be goin to sydney for a second tour...too bad I dun have a camera to show you guys what sydney looks like...

Lately, I'm into a taiwan series called 恶作剧之吻。The main actor is 郑元畅(he also starr in another series called The Rose) and main actress is 林依晨。。。
I bet some of you had seen the japanese version before..but trust me this is much more better than the old one..the stories makes more sense..haha..
well i highly recommend you watch the chinese version and apparently there is news that they are gonna have the second part as well talking about 直树 and 相琴 married life just like the original story from the comic....it is predicted that the 2nd part will come out in year 2007....
ermm..abt this I not really sure whether isit true..
but watch it anyway..I recommend it for those that are crazy abt the jap version...and if you like 蔷薇之恋 this is your cup of tea...especially the main actor..wahaha...
all right that all for now...now I'm goin back to be a lazy pig again....
will post soon.

be content...

tonight has the most beautiful night sky....cloudless
full of stars..just like in the drawing,in the movie...so unreal
Just imagine the cold night air around you...where hot air from your breathing comes out as mist
there is some serenity and peace.... i suddenly realise
this is winter

i'm surprise it took me so long to notice the treasure that is here all along, I guess I'm so caught up with being scared, being sad, thinking all the things, the possibilty and not really sit down and observe.I complain too much, i realised that now.
I guess I have finally come to my senses that life is always full of challenges, time won't just stop there for me until i have accepted it. It will fly pass you even if it seems like the end of the world for you.
Somehow, things will become smooth again. Then why all the stress? Just relax and let it be, things will turn out ok everytime. What a naive thought you will think..maybe.
just be content.

when the second time comes around.

when you encounter the first,
you would have thought that it is bad enough for you to have gone through it.
Because your friends doesn't seems to encounter this ssort of problem before...
or maybe they have and you didn't know anything about it.

The time was hard to pass during your first encounter,
everything around you seems to collapse and you didn't know what to do.
Then, everything is solved and you think that it is so silly that you make such a fussed about it...
when all you need to do is to talk things out.

After, it is all over you think things back
have a laugh with it but...
remember that next time this kind of thing happens, you will know what to do.
However, deep down you pray that you would not go through it again.

So, life goes on and in fact everything seems to be getting better.
suddenly, BOOM!!
here it goes again...
the thing you dreaded the most.

You will think, you might not be as freak out as you did before...
but with the fact that you have gone through hell once
thinking about it makes you shiver even more...
although part of it is due to the stupid cold weather.

Now, you have gotten the shocking blow...
same as the first time ..
you just sat there asking yourself,
what have I done to deserve this.

however, in addtion to that question
it trigger yourself to prompt out another question
how many times is this gonna happen to me?
why is this always happening to me?

By now, you start shivering again...
then you started to sniffle
then the storm came in
you are now crying like it is the end of the world.

When the second time comes around,
you will still be as lost as the first time...
panicking, blaming, angry, wanting to shout out loud, crying
then you became silent.....

.....
.....
.....
the numbness you feel is overbearing

but this time you manage to be calm
and started to think.
What needs to be done to save yourself from
going through the ordeal you face 2 seasons ago.

you try to talk to someone which have more senses
but you wouldn't want your parents to worry about anything that had just happen
so message your friend...
in the midst of your conversation, the line got disconnected.

Man...
how bad luck can you be in 1 day.
you get this news, then you lose your internet connection
later you found out that you lose your phone connection as well.

Is this the main reason for not letting you to connect with the outside world
you think....

trapped and helpless,
you nearly go and kill this woman you hated so much...
but because you are too rasional even to do that
you just sat there dumbstruck.

After a sleepless night,
you get up in the morning and talk things through.
you solved the problem
and what is the main cause of all this thing

So, you solved it big deal...
tired and dehydrated...
you went to sleep
woke up...

You still feel like the same as you have felt the night before, bad.
fear is in the air.
uncertainty still hang around
insecurity sinking in.

Then you realise,
this is the harsh reality of life.
you will still feel shock no matter how many times you have encounter the prolem.

So do you accept the way of life
and move on , or...
you fight back ?

because of this incident...
it make you feel awful again...
to think you have to do everything to make yourself happy again is so...
tiring.

the difference between a culture

What's the difference between ang-mor and Hokkien fairy tales?

Ang-mor fairy tales begin with: "Once upon a time..."
Hokkien fairy tales begin with: "Lim Peh ka li kong..."

from: http://www.talkingcock.com/html/jokexec.php?op=JokeView&lexicon=jokes&jcat=Weird%20Singapore

it is all about jokes this week..

A Tale of Two Cows

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM. You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION. You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION. You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. A BRITISH CORPORATION. You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION. You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION. You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment and high bovine productivity. You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You worship them.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at 0.06 per lit. Then midway you raised the price to 0.60 or you cut supply. When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want 1.20. The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows. Your two cows retire together with the PM.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION. You have two cows: One "cow-peh" and one "cow-bu". Both are owned by a government linked corporation.

from http://www.talkingcock.com/html/jokexec.php?op=JokeView&lexicon=jokes&jcat=Weird%20Singapore

The Da vinci code....

hey guys, one of my friend found a very interesting site about da vinci code...
go and have a look...

http://www.syfc.org.sg/events/dvc/cinema.html

hahaha...enjoy.

希望

希望是一个很奇妙的东西，它的力量庞大。。。
它会使一个人把所忘的东西都带回来，
它会使一个人的四周围变得非常的美丽，
因为它，心情都变得很好，期待也从冷房里拿出来解冻了。
看来，希望的好处并不小。

当你拥有那么好的东西时，
你认为任何事情都是好的。。。
其实你并不知道，希望已经慢慢的离你而去。。。
希望是什么？？
是当你觉得不可能发生的事，突然之间变成有可能了。。。这就是希望。

在这个时候，你就会想好多好多。。。
比如，突然之间你有希望可以回家。。。
不知不觉地，你就会开始想，当你回到家时你会做什么。。。
你会看到什么？？
这时你就会想，你终于可以看到你天天挂念的家人，朋友，熟悉的地方。
你就会想你可以回到以前那个你熟悉的生活。。。
睡在那个你很熟悉的被窝。。。抱着那个可爱的玩具小狗

想着想着，慢慢的这些就会进入你的梦中。
天天就期待着你所要的消息，
虽然你可能认为，你其实已经没那么的想家了。
但，对不起你错了。

认为给这个人希望的人做了残忍的事？？
是否应该等到一切确定在告诉他？？
而不是给他一个假的希望。。。

winter is settling in.

Today is the first day of winter.
Felt quite weird, I spending winter days first time in my life.
Autumn seems to me is short, maybe winter will be long .

About the last post, I would like to know how many people thinks that I'm doing the wrong thing and how many people thinks that I'm right by telling my parents...don't be afraid that I'll be angry or anything, and I know that it won't make any difference now but just wanna know.

Holiday is coming soon, actually been dreading it...
dunno why but I woulnd't know what to do with so much time, mind you the total length is around 1 month, too bad I can't come back to malaysia.

This is what relatives are....

To do or not to do...
to tell or not to tell...

this is the problem I faced this week,
something my uncle did makes me ask myself this question.
It is by far not a very big serious situation,but I am fumed when I heard this from my sis.

Basically,my uncle left my sister alone with 2 stranger to do up his floor in his apartment and when he and my aunt went away from the city to a small town where my uncle practices his medicine and stay over in the weekend. they din even pack in preparation for the small little renovation, and expect that my sis disessemble the bed for them and move their cupboard and remove the furniture for the work men to do their work.(what kind of adult leave a teenager to do all this heavy work by herself huh??luckily my sis is an ex LM)

I'm surprise that my uncle would be that irresponsible and treating my sis like a maid...which i think this is way overboard...

my sis ask me not to tell my parents what my uncle did, mainly because she doesn't want to make a scene out of it...and she doesn't our parents to worry about it.

But with my big mouth dun expect me to shut up, still told my parents anyway.

Mainly, after my parents speak to my uncle abt what he did, he still din thinks that he is wrong by doin that...
but honestly would you in your sanest mind leave a 17 yr old teen with 2 stranger in an apartment??
and would you as a parent leave your own daughter with 2 stranger in an apartment for two wole days staright??

this however isn't the major part of the story yet,
after my mom had a long talk with my uncle abt everything, all he did when he call my sis is asking how his friggin floor is doin and will she help him clean up the floor??!!!!

what the hell is wrong with him??huh!!! how can u just ignore everything and just wanted to know that how your precious floor is doin!!!!go to hell man.to think that he is my relative jus make me hate him more...

Now, my "Saint" uncle thinks that it is my sis who told them abt what happen, and then complain every small little details abt what my sis din wan to do for him when he told him to do like....can she throw away the pampers his daughter used for him, while he planed to bring his daughter and his wife out for a nice little walk!!!GOSH...breaking news my uncle jus got a maid from malaysia who also happen to be my sis and his very own niece....
how terrible can he be then??
It's not even becos my mom doesn't pay him anything for my sis livin in his place....she pays alot ok..enuf for my sis to live in a 5 star hotel ok!!!!

so everybody pls beware, if u ever planning to study oversea...stay away from relatives..this is the worse nightmare u can get...even if they offer to let u stay with them(that's wat my uncle did)... even if you think u noe them well, bcos ppl change when you live with them long enuf....

I wish I can curse him for what he did to my sis... haih, poor little sis, she would be goin thru hell right now...

P/S: this type incident may not happen to some, bcos their relative are really an angel.Just be careful if u ever make a decision to stay with a relative in the future.

报应

这个星期，已经被烫伤了两次。。。不知是不是因为我是恶魔所带来的报应？因为我得自私而得来的结果。

以前，我都会常听人说长大以后你会慢慢变成另一个人。。。当时我不明白为何他们会这样说，心想本性难移啊！！现在得知了，虽然说是本性难移，但为了应付这个世界你会慢慢地把真正的自己埋藏起来。。。

这就是所谓的变成另一个人。

刚开始或许你会不断地责怪自己，因为你所做的一切一切伤害了不少人，但久而久之你就会被这个假象代替了真正的你。。。

这就是事实吗？难道世界就是那么的丑陋？？人类也因此得越变越复杂？？

以前的我是不会像现在那样为了自己而不顾身边的人的感受， 可能这就是所有变化的开始。。。因为我现在觉得很愧疚。

当然要不要变得更恶劣，我扮演了做决定的那个角色。。。

人的恶和善，是如何的分辨？对自己好就代表着你或许在过程中会伤害很多人，这是好？坏？

对别人好自己却因这而失去了千载难逢的机会，这又是好还是坏？

nothing interesting

Just got back from work...gosh so tired...
Lately I have been very slow....and dreamy dunno what's the reason....
I went to donate blood this week but they say I can't donate cos my iron count is too low...no wonder i feel tired lately...
the nurse told me to have more red meat and more fruit juice....
seems like if you really like to help and care for the others, you have to take care of your self first...if not even if you have the heart you won't have the ability to do whatever is needed from you.
ok this is it for now...I have to go back to my assignment.

变了

今天，上课时发生了一些事情。。。
我因为一个同学没来上课而对她发脾气。。。也不知为什么我不把事情好好地解释给她听。。。
明知她一定不会明白到底发生什么。。我都不想多费力气去解释给她听。。。课后去找她时。。。她还那么得轻松的上网我看了就更气。。。你们现在一定在奇怪为什么我那么的夸张的。。。只不过是一堂课而已吗...不需要那么得大惊小怪的。。。
在我就读的课程里，每一堂实习课我们都必须上。。如有缺席除非是生病不然会算是全科不及格的。。。明白了吧？好了又回到那个故事去。。。
直到我把一切详细的解释后她才以一个责怪我的眼神看我。。。看她就快要哭的样子我也没心情去安慰她。。。随便跟她说几句就走了。。。
心里只想着为什么她那么的笨啊？自己的事不会去打理吗？总是依赖身边的我去帮她注意。。。不只是第一次了。。。经过那么多次了还不会自己注意一下吗？。。。还怪我？我上课之前就打电话告诉你，你一定要现在就来上课。。。说时间已经换了。。。
现在回想起来。。我对当时的我感到好害怕哦。。。如果是以前的我。。我一定会帮忙她而不是一走了之的。。就算帮不上我也会在她身边安慰她。。。而不是视而不见地说再见。。。
我变了吗？变成了冷酷无情，骄傲瞧不起人的人吗？我以前也是那么的依赖我的朋友。。。为什么我现在就不会像我的朋友一样帮忙她呢？我变残忍了。。。真是不寒而栗啊！！！
恐怖的人上。

welcome to my world...

ok...
I finally got myself a webcam...and I have taken some photo of my room and the house i'm currently living in.....
I hope you can bear with the pictures...it's blur....

不知道为什么。。。。

今天我又想起了他，也不知道什么事情让我再度回想起以前的事。。。
不知他现在是否安好呢？
地球的另一边会是什么样子呢？
我以为我会放得下。。。那为什么现在又那么的执著？

finally civilisation....

Finally after I have arrived here for more than 3 months....the civilisation has come to me...I got broadband!!!
yeap...I know you think that should I announce to the whole world about this small-little-unexciting-and-you-get-to-use-it-everyday thing....
But you have to realise that I'm at down under where everything is so laid back even the technology get affected too.....however I think this lifestyle so far still hasn't had any impact on me...cos I still change job at a very high speed...the yum cha place boss got fired....hahaha...
but the new 1 i have got... i really hope it will last though...haih...th job is fairly easy....drying out plates and bowls and setting up the tables...i did so many times during the night that i dreamt abt it during the night...
i know what you think..it won't last..but let just see if i can stand it for a month than we will discuss abt the prospect of this new job

happy birthday to me....

today is my 20th birthday....had a wonderful day and surprisingly I'm not depressed by the fact that I'm out of malaysia.
Because being out here makes me know there is actually alot of people do actually care about me and they haven't for got about my birthday....although I'm still short on the present....well, i'm kind enough bcos I will still recieve them eventhough it is late...haha
Actually, vanessa celebrated my birthday with me by bringing me for a dinner and a movie today...and I'm touched by the fact that she would go so far out to celebrate it with me and even a card and a present from her plus a handmade birthday cake from her too....and after we are back from the movies she made me some warm cocoa...
to be in short, I'm surprised , thankful and touched by what she did, bcos....to be honest even friends that know me so long wouldn't do that....
so I think I finally made up my mind about my landlady.....she is trulyt a knid and understanding person and I have done her a great injustice by scolding her last time ...and I think the greatest gift that i have recieved would be that I found a friend in her.....a one that I can approach when I'm in trouble...plus the fact that she finally decided to install broadband(although i still paid my share of the fee)...so you'll be seeing me on9 for 24 7 ....hahahaha.....

Thanks everybody for the warm birthday wishes you gave me last night....it's enough to know that you still remember my birthday and that was the best you can give me for a gift.(that is bcos i keep on reminding some of you hahaha)

Back from Melbourne

And so I'm back from melbourne after a very long easter break.
With a heavy heart, I took an hour bus to the airport....
the scenery along the way was very nice but with me in the prospect of leaving my sis and melbourne I'm not in the mood to really enjoy it.
As I walk towards the plane, my heart getting heavy and heavier, although I can nearly see all the flat grassland surrounding me but inside it seems that everything is squeezing into a very small space.....
the plane took off...and with it my heart drop...I'm really leaving...melbourne in a bird's eye view...i don't like it when I'm goin back to sydney...like it better when I'm landing on it..
So, Goodbye Melbourne,I'm goin back to that place....*Sad*
in total i had a very nice time with my sis in melb, eventhough we didn't do much together..mainly just do nothing but watch movie and lepak around the city...but it feels more like a home in a place where your closest relative is with you.
Hey sis, thanks for your birthday gift and the wasabi nuts...hahaha...

*我喜欢这儿不是因为它是一个城市或是一个热闹的地方，这份喜欢是因为你在这儿。。。一个非常清楚我的人。*

here comes the change....

Yeap...here is another new face for my blog.
Like the background music alot.....it's a soundtrack from a japanese series but I forgot which one...I know this is a bit depressing but have to find to replace the old one cos....the image can't be used anymore....so I hope you'll bear with it for a while before I find a more happy and nicer one...
so enjoy it...
winter is coming soon here.

how I fall in love....

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You give completely and unconditionally in relationships. You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

the meaning of my....

Your Birthdate: May 2

You're so intuitive, it's like you have a sixth, seventh, and eighth sense. You connect with others freely and easily - and you tend to have many best friends. Warm and caring, it's hard for you to close your heart to anyone. Affection is like air for you - you need to give and receive it to survive. Your strength: Your universal compassion Your weakness: Your unpredictable mood swings Your power color: Mauve Your power symbol: Butterfly Your power month: February

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?